Tuesday, December 28, 2004


Man, whoever invented the mug was such a genius. You've got a smoking hot ceramic vessel of delicious beverage and suddenly you think: how am I going to get this in my mouth? Or heck, even to the table? And then somebody--somebody with vision, somebody with passion and courage--put a handle on the dang thing. Wow. Thank you, whomever you are. You have saved the morning.

Saturday, December 25, 2004

A Great Eve

Man, I can't think of a better way to spend Christmas Eve than watching all 3 Matrix movies back-to-back. I mean, Neo and Morpheus and Trinity--they're like family after these years. Family.

Actually, now that I think about it, no. And I'm pretty sure I'm glad about that, too.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

random happy thoughts

"Toaster foods" is apparently a new culinary term, encompassing Pop Tarts and toaster strudels and whatever else goes in the slots of joy.

There are 2 grams of fiber in half an ounce of baking chocolate. That's 8% of your daily RDA!

Wednesday, December 22, 2004


Fiona came up with her first toy name yesterday. It was so cute. She named her stuffed dog "Dudu," a combination of "Juju" (her godmother) and "Deedee" (the dog down the street).

She's just the coolest kid!

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Have I mentioned recently that my daughter is the single cutest life form on this planet?

Monday, December 20, 2004

Secrets of the master

Okay, so the secret to parenting and the secret to being a writer are one and the same. Lean in close now, I don't want everybody to hear this--it's (furtive glances all around) time to yourself.

Yup, Virginia Woolf was right. You need a room of your own, or if not your own room, then at least a few hours when there's no one around, pestering you, throwing things at you, biting you, hugging you or just plain whining.

She's sleeping! She's really sleeping!

Sunday, December 19, 2004


Wow! I love this new template for my blog. It's just so much more ... me!

Many thanks to Jak and Erin (I borrowed some code from her page; she's my blogging role model) for all their coding help.

Now I might design some cool buttons to put on some links, and then tinker and tinker some more. Mwhah-hah-ha-ha!

that skunk!

blogger ate my sidebar and cool picture!!!! the template just ... stopped. it was there last night and now it's gone. i am super irked,


Wow! I love Photobucket! Check out the cool new website medallion on my sidebar--I am now officially a blogger. I have changed my template.

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Isn't it funny how one compliment about your hair can change your entire mood?


I was about to write a ferocious post about rage, because these past few weeks, I have been full of it. Everything makes me angry: my credit history, my wisdom teeth, my general poverty. The sounds the neighbors make. Fiona's sleeping habits. Fiona's temper tantrums. The fact my former boss didn't leap to re-employ me. The fact I have to get a job. My hair. My hair. Losing a hairclip. I am so angry I just want to scream. I want to throw things. I want to go back in time and club the Dean of Students at Pacific U over the head so she couldn't convince me to finish my degree there.

But here was today's horoscope:
The challenges you face aren't insurmountable, but they might seem that way in the beginning. Break your biggest problems down into smaller, more workable components so that you don't feel too overwhelmed as you begin to solve them. Looking at your dilemma from a different perspective can have a favorable outcome as long as you don't get too far off track.

And today's fortune:
You are caught up in trivia.

Sigh. It's true. But it doesn't really make me feel any happier.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

In Defense of Christmas

Last night I spent an hour on sites like the Buy Nothing Christmas and Steve the Pro's Anti-Christmas page. And I have to say, I agree with all of it. They're right on about so very much, especially Buy Nothing, which doesn't condemn the season, just its rampant consumerism. But in my heart, I know we need Christmas. Not as Christmas, but as a season of pure holiday. In fact that's what I've started doing: making the entire month of December a holiday.

A month-long holiday? Is that nuts? Well, first of all, I want to suggest celebrating is as a Holy Day (ok, Holy Month). Holy days are about filling yourself with joy and wonder, reaching out for what is good and meaningful. It means looking into the Great Ineffableness and saying "Wow!" and "Thanks!" and "Blessed Be!" And I think I need a whole month of that.

Even as a pagan, who tries to maximize the presence of the sacred in her life and promote her connection to the wowness of the is (I paraphrased that from one of my favorite quotes about geology), I feel like modern life sometimes comes between me and holiness. The government, clocks, cars, microwave ovens, the internet and my daughter's poopy diapers can all spur me into a zone of jittery grumpified contemporary-stuporism (I refuse to say modern, because the modern period, as defined by the beginning of secular humansim, is one of the most hopeful and holy periods of humanity. Unfortunately, two world wars gave it a big-ole kick in the pants). I can get myself back on track, but what I need is an excuse to laugh at that world-view, to eat a lot of chocolate and escape from it.

So I say embrace Christmas. Even if you're not a Christian, throw your arms around it. Pagans were celebrating the same season long before some lousy Pope co-opted it. If you are a Christian, reach out to Christ and his messages. Heck, even if you're not a Christian, reach out to Jesus's messages, because he's one of the best, kindest philosophers of all times--right up there with John Lennon, in fact.

Put some love in your heart. Play with children, because the season is all about our hope for them and the wonderful things they might accomplish. Eat some fruitcake. Sing a silly song out loud. One month of that, and we might all feel more peace and joy.

Monday, December 13, 2004

Odd thoughts

I have to keep wearing a scarf on my head, because if I don't, I will just keep cutting my hair off.

Would it make me a blog-whore if I nominated my site for "Best of Blogs 2004," not because I think my blog is good, but just because I want more people to read it?

Why does my computer drop me off-line just when I've typed the most perfectly worded message begging my old boss for a new job?

Why do our neighbors have the loudest vehicles in the known universe?

So many mysteries, so little time.

Saturday, December 11, 2004


okay, there's a reason people make fruitcake in loaves, not muffins: it's too damn easy to eat. Yummmmmmmmmm. These things are supposed to be aging, but they might not last the recommended two weeks.

In the meantime, my little sewing project is okay. The stuffed animal, for secrecy's sake, is super-duper cute. I can't believe I used the sewing machine today and it didn't blow up!

Friday, December 10, 2004

chef baby

We must watch too much of the Food Network. Today I had some vacuum-packed steaks out on the counter to defrost, and Fiona was playing with them. She just kept turning them over and over, saying: "Flip. Flip. Flip." I explained the steaks were for dinner, and she became very excited. When I tried to sit her in her high chair, she insisted on bringing one of the steaks to the table with her. She continued flipping it for a while in between bites, then began drizzling tomato soup over the package. She was very careful to cover the entire surface, and I heard her mumbling: "Good eats."

At least it wasn't "BAM!"

PS: I asked her if she was making a sauce and she said "Ooooh," which is Finnish for "yes." Then she flipped the steak and sauced the other side with equal care. She rubbed her chicken salad into the mess and ate some of it and then left the thing to marinade. Thank goodness it was vacuum sealed! I just washed the package off and put them all in the fridge, far from little fingers.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

all i am saying

Well, he was on everyone's minds yesterday, but Erin spoke it well. I wasn't going to write my thoughts about John Lennon, but when I saw Erin's thoughtful post, I remembered the burst of emotion I felt the day before the anniversary, when I kicked off the holiday season with a dose of the John Lennon Collection.

To me, the holidays are about John Lennon. I remember gluing myself to the radio on Christmas, listening to the first half of a 30-hour Beatles-marathon with the volume turned down low enough not to bother my father's Blazer game or my anti-Beatle sister (yeah, there's something wrong with her. She doesn't like the Doors, either). I remember Christmas eve, all alone, playing every Beatle album and Lennon CD I had, reading a British magazine Shayna'd found for me that was a tribute to his life. It was one of the most pure Christmas's ever.

So Tuesday, without thinking, I threw on a CD, ready to plunge into the holiday spirit. Fiona and I were rocking around the kitchen, scrubbing dishes, singing at the top of our lungs. It felt great, until I got to the song "Imagine," and thoughts about our country, our stupid war, our unjust prisons, the globablization and corporatization of the world, and then ... I just ... started bawling. I could only think what would John Lennon think if he was still here? What would he write? What would he do?

And I wonder, sitting here, reading about new money for the intelligence community and Bush's plans for another year, What should I think? What should I write? What can I do? And I worry that instant karma has gotten us, and that this country at least will never give peace a chance.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Happy pecans

My mom made me a pecan pie for my b-day, and it's the funniest pie ever: the crust had a hole in it, and all the custard oozed out underneath it. So the pecans are floating on this sweet bready crust, and then the goo is stuck to the bottom.

Wow! This was a great birthday. I heard from a lot of my friends and all of my family, and everybody was so positive. I'm so lucky! I know the coolest, nicest people in the world!

Monday, December 06, 2004

they say it's my birthday...

so happy birthday to me!!!!

Wow--the big 26! I'm entering my second quarter, the big, responsible one. Do I feel ready for it all? Hmmmn. Mostly I'm just mad because I can't afford to get my wisdom teeth out and my entire mouth hurts. It's really not cool to face the prospect of blackened, rotting hick teeth, but according to my last dentist, that's what I can start to expect soon. Great. As if it's not hard enough to get a date. Or a job.

F*cking oral surfeons and the g*dd*mned insurance companies!!

Sunday, December 05, 2004

plymouth rock

So i read the other day that the reason the pilgrims settled on plymouth rock, and not some further area, is that the sailors on the ship were worried that if they didn't turn back pronto, they wouldn't have enough beer to get home.

Oh, and Samuel Adams planned the Boston Tea Party!

Speaking of the BTP, I am preparing for a little tea party on the 16th, in honor of the event.

Friday, December 03, 2004

Important discovery

I learned today you can not recrisp Cinnamon Toast Crunch in the oven. Everything sort of melted into this glossy, greasy goo ... ewwww ...

Actually (crunch, crunch)--it tastes pretty good. Now it's Carmelized Toast Crunch, Wendell's dressed up cousin.

Thursday, December 02, 2004


Last night we were at Safeway, and Fiona found the dropped coffee beans under the Millstone coffee dispenser. She scooped up a big handful and popped them in her mouth. She was really happy until she choked on them, and then threw up all over herself, me, and the floor.

Yippee! Puke!