Friday, November 05, 2004

Ragin' 'Roids

I apologise for the grody turn in my blog's tone, but I believe every woman needs to hear about this topic: hemorrhoids. They are one of the most taboo subjects in American conversation (I mean, worse than gay marriage!)--Preparation H is tied with the pregnancy test for most shoplifted item. People don't even want faceless store checkers to know they have hemorrhoids.

But I have message. If you ever have a baby, you will have hemorrhoids.

Now, they tell you that pregnant women sometimes, maybe, might possibly get hemorrhoids, but they will go away. That is a big fat lie. I never got a single one while I was pregnant. It was the six hours I was pushing an object the size of a watermelon out of an orifice the size of a lemon that gave me hemorrhoids. And you know what? Every woman I know got them that way, too!

Today, a year and a half later, they still pop up from time to time. Riding in a car for more than an hour, if I'm wearing pants, will do it to me every time. Remember that six hour flight from DC?

Anyway, I feel strongly that we need to stop treating hemorrhoids like a repellant disease, and start treating them like the minor nuisances they really are. And feel better, fellow sufferers, knowing that one good-looking 25-year old is out of the 'roid closet. =)

1 comment:

Kt said...

Yay Wen! Way to bust open the closet door. Two thoughts:

1) Folks slap stigmas on far too many things that don't deserve them. Folks are silly. And,

2) Your fruity birth analogy makes adoption sound ever more appealing. That's all the more insight from me!